Background:
One day Faryl was bored at work and asked me why the day was taking so long. I figured that she should have this conversation with the day itself, so I decided to play the role. Now when she's bored at work, she addresses Day directly, hence the brief narrative switch from Erin to Day. My alter ego had to step in for me for reasons that will become clear as you read.
Also, we play long-distance I Spy all day. We're just that cool.
On with the show.
Erin: Now I Spy something high.
Faryl: has SBTL been smoking pot again?
Erin: Hold on a minute while I pick myself up off the floor and wipe the tears from my eyes. You kill me with your funny.
Faryl: haha good.
hmm.
19. does it use power?
Erin: Yes.
Faryl: 18. is it florescent?
Erin: Nope.
P.S. I had to talk to SBTL just now, and I was starting to crack a little towards the end. I can never look at her the same after that. Thank you.
Faryl: i do what i can
Erin: Yes you certainly do.
Faryl: 17. does it make cold air?
Erin: Nope.
Faryl: 16. is it on the ceiling?
Erin: Yes.
Faryl: 15. is there one on my ceiling?
Erin: Yes.
Wait.
It COULD be on the wall.
Faryl: hmm. 14. does it come in various colors?
Erin: I think it always has to be the color it is. I've seen people paint them, but I'm pretty sure that's not allowed.
Faryl: 13. does it warn you if something's wrong?
Erin: Yes.
Faryl: 12. does it light up?
Erin: In a manner, yes.
Faryl: 11. does it make annoying noises?
Erin: You betcha.
Faryl: 10. i'm going to have to guess SBTL again
Erin: Day: I'm sorry, Erin's dead now. I'm going to have to take over from here.
Faryl: aw ok Day.
9. does it need its batteries replaced?
Erin: Day: Yes.
Faryl: 8. Oh so SBTL's sex toys?
Erin: God: Fuck. You killed Erin AND Monday?
Faryl: jeez, they're dropping like flies
Erin: God: Well, you're damn funny, woman.
Faryl: 7. is it smokin'?
Erin: God: Well, it doesn't smoke itself, no.
Faryl: 6. does it need a smoke?
Erin: God: Like I need your donations every Sunday.
Which is to say, yes.
Faryl: 5. does it drink too?
Erin: God: It's a heathen in all ways. I really messed up when I was creating this one.
Faryl: well i don't think Regina George is in your office but ok
Erin: God: Ooo, burn. Yeah, sorry about that one. I let Von Baby Jesus take over for a minute, and he obviously wasn't ready.
Faryl: tisk tisk
Erin: God: Dude, I heard the ice cream truck. What do you want from me? I had to get outside quick, and Little Jesus was the only one around.
Faryl: well i can't blame you
Erin: God: Right? Who doesn't love those ice cream bars shaped like Bugs Bunny? Gumballs for eyes, mmmm.
Faryl: mm
Erin: God: See?
I was totally justified.
But still, sorry about her.
Faryl: right
Faryl: oh its a smoke detector
Erin: God: Yays!
Erin: God: So, since I'm all omniscient and shit, you want me to see if I can get Erin back here for you? The game would probably last longer.
Faryl: yeah that sounds good
Erin: God: Alright, hang on a sec.
God: Yo, Hell!
Hell: Word up, God.
God: Can I get Erin back, please? Her friend kinda needs her to play I Spy.
Hell: I dunno, man. She's, like, saving seats or some shit. Lemme go see what I can do.
God: Appreciate it, Hell.
Hell: Looks like she's willing to go back if I promise to keep her and her friends together when they all get here. I think I can swing that, they'll be fun to watch.
God: Thanks man, I owe you one.
Hell: No worries, Dog. Shout at ya later.
God: You know I hate it when you call me Dog. The irony is painful.
Hell: You love it.
God: Alright, my child. I got your friend back for you. Have fun playing I Spy with her, and try not to kill her so much, hmm?
Faryl: i'll do my best
Erin: God: That's all I can ask. Peace.
Faryl: And also with you
3 comments:
You two HAVE to be kidding me! You are too funny. First, long-distance-I-Spy is pretty darn amazing...I couldn't play, "photocopier" would be the answer every time.
So I had to pause Grey's Anatomy after I read "sex toys" from Faryl.
AND I can see that Faryl's years in Catholic school did her well with the "and also with you" response.
What is with you kids? Btw, if Regina George ever comes to your office, you know something is wrong. She's 1) trying to get you to go to the beach, 2) has an uninteresting story she feels is uber-important, or 3) she thought she was at Sam's work and got lost.
I'm still laughing!
Did my first comment go through? Blogger had an error, and I don't think I have the attention span to re-write it all...
I SOO should not have read this at work!! I was given dirty looks when I nearly fell out of my chair.
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