Jump in my car, we'll go 100 around the bends

-- 100 Round the Bends, by Missy Higgins

Two disclaimers here.

1. We will not be going 100 mph. Ever. I don't like getting tickets.
2. This is the car you'll be jumping in:


That's right, folks. I got myself a nice new set of shiny shiny wheels. And it was about time, too. Denny Crane served me well through most of college, but he's 11 years and 170k miles old and seriously rough around the edges. Anyone who has had the distinct pleasure of driving with us in the last several months is aware of the state of disrepair into which good ol' Denny has fallen. Or, more accurately, has been in since before I inherited him. He recently started mumbling something about needing new brakes and an electrical system thisclose to short-circuiting in the middle of my morning commute.

"But Erin, what about all that talk of getting a Smart Car?" Well, ever-observant readers, that dream was quickly squashed upon discovering that the wait for a Smart Car is nine months, easy. Since Denny's brakes were not nearly that long for this world, my mom and I thought it would be best to circumvent that cost by looking for more available alternatives. Enter Shirley.


Alan Shore: Shirley? What about senior partners? There would be nothing wrong with me, lusting, say, after ... you? Would there?
Shirley Schmidt: Go subscribe to National Geographic. Make a list of the places you'll never get to visit. Add to that list, Schmidt.
-- Boston Legal

Yes, my new car is named after the inimitable Shirley Schmidt. The snarky, intelligent, sane counterpoint to Denny Crane. And played by the equally-awesome Candice Bergen. Keeping the naming scheme within the Boston Legal line was a simple decision. Denny Crane (the car) embodies everything that Denny Crane (the lawyer) is. Both were lovable, had Mad Cow Disease and were embarrassingly unpredictable. And while Shirley (the car) is considerably younger, even in car years, than Shirley (the lawyer) is, she hits all the other points of similarity. She's quick-witted and cool; unshakable in her confidence. The exact opposite of Denny.

So, while I still love him dearly, I do need to find a new home for Denny. If anyone's looking to score a cheap vehicle in need of a few repairs, let me know. Denny's flaws are mostly cosmetic, although he does need new brakes, like, yesterday. He's taped up in all the cracks that threaten to ruin the electrical when it rains, so there are probably a couple thousand good miles on him yet. If I'm honest, though, I'm pretty sure he'll make his last change of ownership into the hands of a charity. Which I think would be a wonderful way to go. He will be happier frolicking in the big junkyard in the sky than he ever was sitting in LA traffic. Rest in Peace, Denny Crane. You were awesome.